Here's a collection of quick one-liners - sure to make you cringe!

• Two peanuts walk into a bar, one was a salted.
• I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.
• A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France resulted in "Linoleum Blownapart."
• Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
• Two hydrogen atoms were talking. One says, "I've lost my electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies, "I'm positive..."
• A jumper cable walks into a restaurant. The waiter says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
• A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve food in here."
• Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
• "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home. '" "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" "It's Not Unusual."
• An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
• I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
• Two guys walked into a bar. The third one ducked.
• I went to the butcher's the other day to bet him 50 bucks that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, "No, the steaks are too high."
• What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
• Did you hear the joke about the jump rope? Skip it.
• Did you hear the joke about the dirty window? You wouldn't see through it.
• Did you hear the joke about the bed? It hasn't been made up yet.
• Did you hear the joke about the roof? It's over your head.
• Did you hear about the butcher who backed into his meat saw? He got a little behind in his work.
• Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other, "OK, how do you drive this thing?"

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